Just No, Well, Maybe Just a Little

It has been nearly ten years since Mistress Nova and I started connecting intimately. What started out as minor play turned into something more significant. We went from light pain from the heel of a boot to hours of torture, predicaments, and painful memories. Thinking back, I remember discussing our first contract together. We detailed our hard and soft limits and the roles we have been seeking for a lifetime. While time flies, I vividly remember our hard limit list extending to nearly two pages.

So, what are my boundaries, and how have they changed over the years? I want to say it was simple, but that is not so easy to say. Over the past ten years, Mistress and I have grown ever so close. There have been ups and downs. Regardless, each experience has built one thing that we both cherish: trust. With trust comes a shift in boundaries. Fully trusting your partner opens door after door in your BDSM relationship.

Many boundaries have not changed for both of us. Animals, minors, and age play are an absolute hard limit. Those fetishes are chiseled into stone tablets and will never come off. We are both supporters of consensual play. In the beginning, Mistress and I connected for consent quite often until one day, we gave up on discussing consent before each session and just started exploring each other. This goes right back to trust. Without the high level of trust, I would not have granted Her an unsigned check to my consent. I know many people around the internet say that this is not safe or doable, and I agree entirely. I would not grant unchecked sexual consent to someone new to my life or someone I have known for a short while. Get to know your partner first and foremost. Then, you can discuss unsigned consent. Mistress Nova and I have a contract that is renewed yearly. This is our form of consent.

With the consent issue squared away, we began examining our hard limits. Over time, our hard limits became soft limits. Watersports was a hard limit at the beginning. Now, Mistress forces me to devour my own urine if I do not make her coffee in the morning. We had a hard limit on diaper use at the beginning. Now, I wear a diaper during Mistress’s monthly visit, soaking up my urine and having to ask permission to change. What was just “no” became something “we could try once.” Before deeply discussing them, we tried a few other things that were on the hard limits. We were deathly afraid of breath play. I mean, you’ve heard the stories and the warnings. Then, one day, Mistress kept me from breathing by holding my mouth shut and blocking my nose, and I felt the power rush through her. Her orgasm pumped throughout her body, and she screamed in ecstasy. What started in the bedroom has leaked out to a 24/7 life. Believe it or not, that was a hard limit at one point, then it went to a soft limit, and now it is regular.

The post’s moral is to find someone to test your boundaries with. We have tested our boundaries. We have learned what each of us enjoys in the BDSM lifestyle. We continue to test our boundaries within the legal scope of the law. There is nothing wrong with testing your hard limits. With that said, there is also nothing wrong with having some etched into stone. I challenge you to reflect on your absolute no’s. Why are they on there as a no? If it’s because you are unsure if you’d like it, I say go for it. If it is morally, ethically, or legally wrong, stay clear. If you aren’t violating the law, your values, or your partner’s values, then I say try it just once to see what it is all about. You’d be surprised what moves from your hard limit list to your routine sessions and life.

Stay kinky out there, kitty.

Apologies to Mistress

  1. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for my failure to ensure you have had your meal before I indulge in my own. It is selfish of me to put myself before you during mealtime as your needs and satisfaction are of the utmost importance. I am sorry for eating before you and selfishly eating before you began your mealtime. I will see to it that I minimize this behavior in the near future. 
  2. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for not ensuring that you were sexually satisfied through my actions. While I remain locked away, it is still my duty to ensure that you reach orgasm when the need arises and I have failed to complete that task. Your sexual pleasure is top priority for you at the end of the day. I am sorry for not ensuring you were sexually pleased each day as I am required as your submissive. I will ensure that I seek your need for sexual service before each evening. 
  3. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for failing to use the name you’ve slotted me to use. I have learned that I am unworthy of using your birth name. Your birth name is not a privilege that I am able to engage in. I am deeply sorry for using your birth name in public and private without your consent. That violation is unacceptable. I will continue to use the allowable names in the future when addressing you. 
  4. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for moving about the house and community without seeking your permission first. It is a requirement of me to seek your permission before moving rooms and activities, a requirement that I have failed to complete multiple times. I am sorry that I have taken it upon myself to do what I want, when I want, and how I want without your permission. I will remind myself that I am not to move or alter my activity without your permission. 
  5. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for not checking in with you throughout the day. You require me to check in with you when we are separated during the day. Failure to complete this task makes it appear that I am not interested in my Mistress. I am sorry for portraying that perspective as that is not the truth. I will ensure to check in at least twice a day when we are separated. 
  6. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for not completing the laundry on time. You rely on me to wash, dry, and return the clothes to your room for inspection. I understand that further consequences including being locked in the laundry room are incoming. I do hope you show mercy through my apology. I will complete the laundry on time or communicate my disruptions with you. 
  7. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for not providing you hot tea every evening as required. It is my job to make sure you have a hot tea before bed each evening. I am sorry that I have been inconsistent with serving you hot tea. I will work to increase my consistency with producing you hot tea before bed. 
  8. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for not completing my weekly writing assignments on Fridays. You look forward to having some weekend reading and I have failed to fulfill that need for you. I am sorry that you have had no weekly writings from me over the past several weeks. I will ensure to complete my writing beginning this week. 
  9. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for prepping myself for our weekly cleaning ritual. It is my responsibility to lay out your supplies and be ready for the brutal cleaning I am required due to being caged all week. I am sorry for skipping our last ritual and squirming through the others. I will make sure that your supplies are laid out and I am prepped and ready for your soft hands. 
  10. My dearest Mistress. I owe you an apology for failing to properly train my gag reflex to become nonexistent. It is my responsibility to practice filling my throat twice a week until you command me to stop and I have failed in competing this practice. I will take the extra time twice a week to practice deep throating for your future needs. 

The Night Away

Last week felt like a month crammed into one week. Mistress and I were recovering from the unexpected loss of our dog, raising a teenage boy, working with a pre-teen ADHD kid, and potty training a toddler. Mistress was done by Friday and needed some time away from the house.

Mistress was invited over to a vanilla friend’s house for drinks and left me to tidy up the house and get the kids settled for the beginning of the weekend. Once all the kids were in bed, and the house finally quieted for the evening, I went into Mistress’s bedroom to await her return.

I retrieved my punishment chair and aligned it underneath the ceiling hook in the bedroom. The chair is a small wooden chair complete with several anchor points. This chair has been the location for cock cleanings, piss sitting, and bound ignoring sessions. I equipped ankle and wrist restraints and retrieved a blindfold, ball gag, and noise-canceling headphones. Last but not least, I grabbed one of my collars and set up her indoor camera. I sat down, put on the restraint equipment, and hooked it together. I put on the gag, blindfold, and headphones before clicking my hands into the locking position. I sat there until Mistress came home knowing that she could click on the camera app to check in whenever she pleased. I held this position for almost 4 hours until Mistress came home, tipsy from wine and relaxed from time in the hot tub.

These evenings have been a new adventure for Mistress and me lately. I have talked about how we have been dabbling in self-bondage, and the more we do it, the more Mistress enjoys it. She wants to see me restrained but does not always want to do the beginning work. She likes to enter a space, add to the restriction, and dish out some pain before walking away.

This may be our new norm when Mistress spends time with her friends. Of course, the self-bondage has safety measures that I can release if necessary. I am constantly trying to find creative ways to self restrain for Mistress’s pleasure because that is her wants right now.

I felt a little weird doing this practice at first. Now, it feels almost normal for me to be self restrained before Mistress shows up or enters the space.

That’s all for now. Until next time.

Session Talk

Mistress and I had a brief session the other night that left me…uh… ruined, to say the least. The ache was real. So real I could feel it the next day. While not my favorite feeling, it got me thinking about my favorite session with Mistress.

I pondered my own question for a bit and finally concluded, I cannot name one “favorite” session that tops all of the others. All of our sessions have a special place in my soul but some have left a more memorable impact than others.

Mistress and I have begun working with self-BDSM together, meaning I am required to initiate self-bondage/activities while I await her to decide to join. Not long ago, Mistress was at the gym later in the evening. With the kids in bed, Mistress ordered me to get myself in a restraint that would leave her little cock exposed before she returned from the gym. I somehow managed to get myself in a hogtie on my knees at the edge of her bed. I knew there were hours, not literally; it may have been over an hour.

I hear the front door lock click, and our door chime dings in the hallway. I perked up and began listening intently for her arrival in her bedroom. Keys hit the table, the dog is let out, and the distant opening of the frig is the sound that follows. She finally enters her room as I longingly stare at the door.

“Ah, how cute.” Is her only response without making eye contact. She brushes past me, leaning in as I am near the edge of her bed. The rummaging of drawers fills the room. One final slam of a drawer and she brushes past me again, heading towards the bathroom. On her way, she drops a small container of muscle heat cream. I instantly know what is about to happen. I panic as I hear the shower start after she closes the door between her bedroom and the bathroom. A few minutes go by, and I tell myself she got in the shower and just put this item here to mess with my emotions. Well, I was wrong. She opens the door and reenters the room; this time, she is naked and makes direct eye contact.

Without a word, she plants a deep kiss on my lips while grabbing the container. She screws off the lid and dabbles the cream over my exposed cock and balls. Replacing the cover and setting the container down next to me, she walks back into the bathroom and closes the door. The shower curtain rings screech slightly as they are opened and then shut. Just then, heat and more of it. Deep heat. I have nowhere to go. The sensation increases intensively after each passing second. I begin to control my breathing, in and out, in and out.

The shower water cuts off, the shower curtain screeches, and the gentle humming of a happy Mistress fills the room. She enters her room and giggles loudly as my eyes are red and watery.

“Ah, poor Kitty. Do my balls hurt?” She says in a fake sympathetic tone with a slightly pouty lip. I nod somewhat without trying to move and disrupt the heat sensation that has peaked for the last few minutes.

“Hm!” was her response as she got dressed. After lounging, she released my hands and ankles from the self-imposed bondage. As I adjusted my arms and legs, Mistress ordered me to get dressed for bed as she was satisfied with herself. And off to bed, we went.

This session sticks in my mind for several reasons. The first being the amount of torture that rub caused was unreal. Mistress has done all the research and knows how much is too much. Just enough to cause long torment without permanent damage.

The second reason is this is one of the first sessions that started with self-BDSM and has led us to more complex sessions when some of the work is done ahead of time. That way, Mistress can focus on her sadistic methods without having to put all of her attention on the restraints. She loves seeing me restrained but does not always like completing the act of restraining.

Feel free to share thoughts or your own session memories. Until next time.

Goodbye Brattiness

I was doing some internet research on being a male submissive a few years back. While doing this I came across a statement that I didn’t quite understand at the time. Since I was new to discovering my submissive side, the statement made me move on from that particular site and I never went back or can’t seem to remember it now. To sum it up, the statement said something along the line of “Doms don’t want to always put you in your place. They want you to follow rules, rituals, and be a good submissive.” I remember thinking “what’s the fun in that?”

Fast forward to today. I’m all grown up in my submissiveness. I think back to that site that I turned my nose up and think that I should have grasped that earlier. Mistress doesn’t always want to participate in corrective punishment. She wants proactive punishment, rituals that are followed, items that are met. I finally got on the same page a few weeks ago. Took me long enough.

Over the past three weeks, I have been writing up additional options to our dom/sub contract that builds in rituals and requirements that Mistress enjoys. I did it for her. She is busy being everything to everyone and just needs a sub that has it together. I was careful to not “top from the bottom”. I will definitely say that these are not for my pleasure. Everything was created with her pleasure in mind.

I sat with her two weeks ago and shared my additions. She read them, grinned, and said she loved them. The additions were written in a way that is less work but more enjoyable for her. We implemented them this last week and she was all smiles.

I don’t want to divulge all of the additions as we are still working out the process. One of the additions is “surprise self bondage.” Mistress loves me restrained and gagged to do her bidding but the thought of going through all the work can be daunting after long day. So, we implemented a self initiation where I begin the ritual by asking if she would like a surprise. Upon her confirmation, I will ask if she wants anything in particular. With or without a guide, I’ll do the best I can with what I’ve got. She can then carry on about her evening how she pleases. She can periodically check her naughty cam to check in or join in if she wants.

It went well last week and we both look forward to this week. I’ll keep you updated. And just remember, some Doms just want a sub to do their part without being a brat. A lesson I wish I paid more attention to years ago.

A Little Window Pane

Hey All! Happy Monday. I almost said Happy Tuesday like I am some sort of time traveler. Well, at this time in the evening I am sure it is Tuesday morning somewhere. Japan actually. Ugh sorry, I digress. That has been my Monday, all day.

Last night’s session was simple, yet terrifying, at least for me. I am still rather “shut in” about Mistress and I’s alternative lifestyle. This blog has been revealing at times for me and has been about as public as I can take. But last night, Mistress added a slight addition to our public revealing.

As per ritual, I was to be naked, wearing ankle and wrist restraints, kneeling with my collar in hand at the foot of Mistress’s bed. It wasn’t alone long before she came in a completed the ritual by collaring me and rising me to my feet. While she tidied up the space, I was to remove my chastity device and clean myself up. When I rejoined Mistress in the now tidy space, she inserted a black rubber ball gag with a deep red rose that faces out of the submissive’s mouth. She then threw the cloth hood over my head and fixed the mouth hole to allow the rose to penetrate through the hood and unzipped the eye holes, allowing me to see the forthcoming event.

We bought this old oak chair from a store that takes old, donated items and building materials and sells them dirt cheap. Mistress then tasked me to build some anchor points throughout this wooden chair and it sits quietly in the corner of her bedroom. Well, not last night. After unzipping my eyes, she walked to the corner of the room and dragged the chair down the side of the wall, and stopped right in the middle of the wall, then she turned the chair so I would be facing that section of wall. The catch here is, that there is no wall. It is a window that faces our backyard and the walking trail that runs behind our backyard! She forced me to sit in the chair and restrained my hands behind the chair so I was unable to get up and slip away. My first reaction, bend backward so nobody can see me from the trail IF they were walking it. Mistress fixed that quick with the quick use of a leash attached to the front of me, forcing my head upright and staring out the window. Now, nobody typically walks this trail at this point in the night but you just never know these days and that is what I was afraid of. Mistress zipped the eyelids closed, took the vibrator wand, and forced it under me so it vibrated through my legs and into my junk, then poof. Disappeared. I sat there for quite some time before she decided she had enough and needed a release before bed.

I can be a bit of a prude in public compared to Mistress. Now, she is a big proponent of consent so her public play is never intense or very revealing. This was in the comfort of her own bedroom and folks shouldn’t be peeping in windows anyways. She is also extremely open about her kinks and fetishes with anyone willing to listen, especially when she knows it makes me squirm. We have a few vanilla friends that we see quite a bit that seem to push her to reveal more and more each time we get together. So I am always ready for her to say something humiliating or demeaning in nature when the topic inevitably comes up.

Anyways, that’s all for this Monday’s post. I hope you all have a great week. Stay kinky my friends.

It’s 2022 C’mon man

I have found it hard to sit and draft out a decent blog the past months. I would sit at my desktop, write up the blog, edit, review, edit, review, and finally publish. Then I’d read it again and found that I didn’t like it. Afterward, no sharing links or anything like that. So, I just quietly walked away and took my whipping from Mistress.

Then I had a moment today. A moment of “Hey dumbass. You can probably blog via phone.” Whole new world. Since life is go go go and then bam I’m gagged, collared, and kneeling on a pan of rice, I’ve struggled to find time to sit and blog. It’s tough to blog when you are tied up drooling on a pan of rice for hours.

Now I’ve got the app on my phone and can blog whenever and wherever I want. And I can do snippets. I’m excited about this actually. I haven’t been able to make this happen thus far and I’ve been inconsistent. Sorry about that.

So here are my random thoughts for the day. I just love wearing my chastity device. I take it off at night since I developed a cut on my testicles when I was wearing it 24/7. Mistress allows the removal when we go to bed and I am required to put it on when I get dressed. It is part of my clothing for the day. I didn’t wear it yesterday as we were busy with some activities and I felt naked. I kept looking for it and realized I could pee standing up, except at home. Cage or not I better sit on the toilet like the good boy I am. For anyone struggling to find a comfortable, long term device, holy trainer is the way to go. I don’t get paid to say that by the way. Mistress has a schedule for me when pur kids return to school as I am now permanently working from home. We will dive into that later. And… I’m due for a deep pegging while in bandage.

But Mistress and I want to make more content and dive in deeper into this life. We aren’t getting any younger that’s for sure. So now that I decided to enter the mobile realm, be ready.

Until next time.

Chastity 24/7

After several years and various product missteps, Mistress Pixie and I have finally fallen in love with a chastity device. Our journey has been up and down with smiles and heartaches. 

Our journey began several years ago when we began to seriously date. Mistress was coming into her dominance and I was learning to kneel. During this time we were new and hungry for BDSM. Mistress wanted to own and I was eager to be owned. We both knew of male chastity devices and researched their benefits. Controlled orgasms, check. Controlled erections, check. Denial, check. Total power to the keyholder, yes, please. Excitedly, we dove in head first (pun intended)

The CB-6000 was the first serious dive. Great reviews, happy Mistresses, and frustrated subs. This is exactly what we were looking for. Order placed and order received. We jumped right in. All started off well for our first serious attempt at male chastity. Then, one terrible day, I was wearing the device and I experienced the slip. For those that do not know what the slip is, it is when the male sub’s balls slip between the tube and the ball trap ring. It hurt and not the good kind of hurt. Mistress and I chatted and thought maybe I used too much lube that day so we tried it again. Bam, slipped again. We tried several fixes without doing much research. We changed ring sizes, increased and decreased spacers, less lube, and even chalked it up to cold winter days. Still, I kept slipping. One day I slipped was stuck mid-slip. My world was going dark as I felt I was going to pass out right then and there. This happened to the point where I couldn’t take the slipping anymore. 

After almost a year after the slippage stoppage of male chastity, we decided to try again. We did more research and ended up trying a silicone product that wasn’t nearly as expensive. No success. We tried an enclosed device. Fun, but no success. We even bought this belt-style system that is cool and has its purpose; however, 24/7 male chastity is not the purpose of this belt. More research led us to the people over at Mature Metal.

I absolutely love the Mature Metal chastity devices. The folks over there are helpful and open about their products and what they offer. I ordered sizing rings from Mature Metal per their recommendation. At this point in time, it’s been a few years and Mistress and I are now married. We continue to drive our 24/7 TPE lifestyle without chastity. I am extremely gun shy on chastity as my anxiety was immediately peaking at the thought of the slip. But after some time, I measured and sent those into Mature Metal. After about two months, my Jailbird showed up and Mistress and I dove right in again. Everything started out well and then… you guess it, the slip. I quit. Mistress supported my decision and I walked away from all chastity devices. To be clear, this isn’t the fault of Mature Metal. This all resides on yours truly. I was still learning the measuring and wearing process. I could have asked them to resize but I just gave up instead. 

Fast forward a year later in the middle of the pandemic. Mistress and I get on the topic of chastity after listening to a podcast where another female dominant mentions the holy trainer device. We discussed at length as I had given up trying to wear chastity. We decided that now was a good time to try again. Mistress and I had a baby boy a few months prior and she said, “I have no use for my cock anymore. Might as well lock it up”. We did a better job researching this time around. Research plus experience led us to our purchase. We bought the V4 holy trainer device and anxiously awaited its delivery. Once arrived we didn’t dive in. We dabbled. My anxiety about the slip made me hesitant and Mistress was supportive of my hesitation. 

We started slow. A few hours at a time. I had some soreness of course as we went along and we only locked at home. My anxiety skyrocketed everything Mistress locked the device. But, we started slowly with a few hours here and there. After doing that for a few weeks, those several hours extended into several more hours. Before we knew it, I was putting the device on in the morning before work and taking it off either at bedtime or instructed by Mistress Pixie. 

Now, I am on my 5th consecutive day of 24/7 chastity. The middle of the night can be a bit rough from what I have read and I concur. My body naturally wants to naturally erect, especially since Mistress Pixie has denied orgasm release for the past two weeks while completing her punishments and sessions. With last night being the fifth night, they are getting easier and easier to sleep through. 

I feel great. I feel owned. I feel dominated, I feel like a male sub should feel.

This post is no way affiliated with any official companies or products. This all stems from my personal discovery and use. Please use the links below if you are interested in researching chastity devices.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php

https://www.maturemetal.com/

https://www.holytrainer.com/male-chastity-device/male-chastity-device.asp

Ah, We May Have Been on A Little Break

I was going through a list of podcasts about two weeks ago, griping about how some of the good ones have not had new episodes in X amount of time. Bummer, I thought to myself. The description sounded great, but the last podcast was…yikes. I don’t want to fall in love with a podcast that isn’t active. Then, while laying in my cage on a Friday night, it hit me. I haven’t posted in forever either! Now, I am not saying what I have to share is any good, but maybe one of you might be interested in what I am saying, and I just poofed. Sorry about that.

So back to the lonely Friday night caging that I found myself in. Mistress decided that she didn’t want me sleeping in her bed that night and threw my pillows and a blanket into our slightly smaller-than-me cage. “Good Night, Kitty,” she stated as she stood next to the cage door. I reluctantly crawled into the cell and was immediately locked in for the night. Mistress fell asleep pretty quickly, and I wasn’t far behind as I was exhausted. But, I always wake up in the cage as it is smaller, and I cannot stretch out. So, with access to nothing, I lay in my own thoughts until I fall back asleep or Mistress lets me out.

I began thinking about how I have had plans for my writing for some time. Writing erotic poetry, posting pictures of sessions, and maybe dipping into erotica. I have always envisioned myself doing a bit more writing in my life. I also wanted to publicly keep a better log of my journal for other alternative lifestyle folks to enjoy. Ah, the dreams we have, am I right?

So, now my little break is over, and I am back to the grind. And this time… with picture evidence. Enjoy.

Until next time,

Kitty.

A Mistress’ Thoughts

Hello for all those reading kitty’s blogs. I am known to kitty as Mistress but to others it is Mistress Pixie. It is not My norm to blog on this platform simply because this is kitty’s personal space to be open and vulnerable about his thoughts and the world I created for him. I want to ensure that kitty has a small little secure space to be with his thoughts without influences from Me. It is like a digital diary for all to see and explore where I watch from a distance. But upon rereading these blogs I have discovered that kitty has been blogging for over a year now. Within that year he has really grown into a confident and devoted submissive. I am very proud of the evolution of kitty. I also thought it was about time his followers met Me. I am a Sadistic Mistress who enjoys controlling, humiliating, and torturing kitty in the most loving way possible. This is a FLR and 24/7 Mistress/submissive household. We are not always successful in a 24/7 lifestyle due to a house full of children but we do our best. Anywho, thank you for following My lil kitty on his journey to be My submissive. Stay tuned because this is a start to a new beginning for kitty. ❤️Mistress Pixie