What is one of your earliest memories when your submissiveness came to the surface?
I have shamed myself for so long on this topic, and I am still asking myself, “Do I really want to open this box?” Of course, I don’t because I have walled it up and hid it away for so long. But it is time to really push me into who I am and what I want in my life.
I was young, like really young. We’re talking 6 years old. I was in early elementary school. This memory is vivid and sticks in my head because I began shaming myself for this moment at some point later on. I came home after school and was alone in my bedroom. My parents were pretty hands-off, so I often found myself alone doing whatever came to mind. I ended up naked and tying myself to the pole of my bed. Not tightly as I was 6ish in age, but it was enough to think about how much I enjoyed that feeling.
And maybe that isn’t fully submissive but a bondage or restriction kink. Thinking back, I can see this as the beginning of my submission, though. I couldn’t put words to it, but reflection has led me to feel submissive in that memory.
I often think that if I owned that moment sooner in my life, maybe I wouldn’t have struggled to be myself with Mistress Pixie when we first began to explore our lifestyle.
I have never shared that moment in history before. I always looked back on it in shame because I thought there was something wrong with me. Now, thanks to Mistress Pixie, I can look back and identify that time as a time where I was myself before I began my self-shaming.
Kneeling Kitty 