Another cold morning as we transition to spring. The fresh reminder that winter is only behind us during the day and lightly visits throughout the early morning hours. This has been great for me lately as I get up before the sun and get dressed for the workday. I am not allowed to choose my own clothing any day of the week without Mistress’s consent. I am expected to ask Mistress what I am permitted to wear that day before getting dressed. If Mistress is asleep, I will put on a pair of available pants and grab a hoodie until she deems it necessary for me to dress. This has been perfect for the cold mornings that have been dominant the past few weeks. When Mistress awakens, I am permitted to ask her for a shirt to wear for my day. She typically tells me a color or style, and I get to raid my closet to find a match to her liking. Sometimes, she will hand me clothes, and they may or may not be my own. Regardless, I am expected to ask for my clothing. The consequences for not asking are the total destruction of one of my favorite pieces of clothing. It has only taken once to remember to ask Mi9stress before I am officially dressed for the day.
Wrist bands have taken over my life the past month or so. Mistress has two colors that make up our daily routine, black and red. The black band is a bit more lenient as I can make eye contact and speak without Mistress’s permission. I am still not allowed to relieve myself without permission, and Mistress still seeks my opinion. This is pretty much the day-to-day of our lifestyle.
Red bands are a bit stricter. I lose access to make eye contact with Mistress and am not allowed to speak to Mistress unless spoken to first. My head and eyes must be lowered when we are out in public. I must avoid eye contact with other individuals when in a social setting except for the few agreed-upon exceptions. You can bet that on a red band day, I am wearing female clothing and shoes throughout the day. When family time settles down, I must go to my designated spot until Mistress grants me permission to move from my corner. Red band days are full control days and tend to happen several times a week. I failed at a red band day miserably about two weeks ago as I was wearing my red band during a social event at our house. The hardest part was that this was with people Mistress and I know well, so following the strict guidelines designated by Mistress was tough. I am sure that was by design, though.
Mistress has added to our ritual over the past week as she continues to gear up and unleash her storm. Our typical nightly ritual is me fetching my collar from her bedroom after our children go to bed for the night. I am to bring her the collar and kneel at her feet until she clicks it in place. We have a back-and-forth verbal ritual before the official “click” of the collar buckle. This process has been updated. Now, I am to go to her bedroom and lay my collar out. I am to attach the wrist and ankle restraints and insert a ball gag. Then, I am to await her arrival. The multiple times we have practiced this, Mistress has found a gagged kitty already beginning to drool as she clicks the collar in place. However, the verbal exchange has not changed at all. The communication is now heavily muffled by the rubber ball that is occupying my mouth. Listening to a muffled kitty excites Mistress and marks the official transition from family to BDSM time.
On a quick note, we have been practicing chastity once again. We have done this before, but I have had some adverse events that have raised my chastity anxiety. I am back in the cage for short sprints to time to help my body adjust and ease my anxiety. I ordered a custom-fitted device a few years back, but I was so new to chastity that I did a piss poor job of thoroughly researching sizing and such. That has led to the purchase being less than pleasant. Mistress and I both want 24/7 chastity in our future, so we have decided to start small. I have also been doing a better job of researching devices, sizing, and wearing the device. Currently, I am not wearing the custom-fit cage as I tend to have a “slip,” and that just is not something I wish to experience again. I have been practicing with the CB6000 we have had for about four years. I have been able to play with ring and gap sizes. I think I have found the perfect ring and gap size. Now, I just need to build up the familiarization of wearing the device. More importantly, I must increase my confidence in the device and reduce my anxiety. I just know that I would be a better kitty for Mistress if I was under lock and key. I mean, I talk a good game, but I will be the first to say that I tend to really push Mistress’s buttons. I notice that I am less bratty and more aligned with Mistress’s vision when locked away. The little voice in my head says, “you did this to yourself by rushing through things.” That is a true statement. I should have taken the time to thoroughly research the chastity device, sizing, and how to safely implement the device. It is a perfect example of that old saying, “hindsight is 20/20”. Luckily, I have had the opportunity to read on an active forum with beginners and pros all mixed together. I have read that other submissive men like me rushed into chastity without the proper research and are now getting some tips and tricks from the pros. I don’t get to read it too often and probably accessed the forum maybe three weeks ago, but I found great information on it when I was there. I should probably visit that site more often to continue to gain insight before I beg Mistress to purchase another custom-fitted device, this time correctly measured.
Anyways, no more ramblings from me.
Until Next Time
Kneeling Kitty 